Monday, July 20, 2009

Tell us when you were born

Join a website and you will be required to fill in the blanks.

With some sites, this data seems more important than your user name. If you refuse, you cannot join.

Why do they need to know?

Immediately, I can think of two reasons. First is targeted marketing from streaming video, pop-up ads and email spam.

Don't worry; we do not give out your personal information.

(Right and the thousand people involved in landing men on the moon all kept the fact that it didn't happen secret for the last forty years. Never happen).

Breaking News: Yes they do give out your personal data!

If they did not plan to give out the date you were born, why do they need it? Without a Social Security number, they cannot use your birth date for anything else like confirming you are who you tell them you are.

Well, here is a second reason for them to require that sensitive information.

Age discrimination, which is interwoven directly and indirectly with the first reason.

If you are under ten, or over eighty, there are foods and drugs you NEED to know about. Special clothing styles, insurance plans, movies, toys, books, teething rings, etc.

If you are a teenage male, you have problems with girls. If you are a teenage female, you have problems with boys, although I'm certain they are vastly different from male problems. In fact, some males might be the problem. Sorry, we do not have food or drugs to help you with that.

However, if you click here "Girls VS" we have several books available for the low price of $29.95 each. The information we provide will help you through these turbulent years, and for a limited time, we'll add a coupon for your favorite chocolate bar.

Thirty something male or female? Struggling with family, job loss, debt, and planning for the future? Go here: "Help, I thought I knew" and for a low low subscription price of $29.95 per month, we will teach you how to get it back and move on.

Human over forty-five? Have we got a drug for you! Whether it is flaccidity, or plain disinterest, we can help you today. Click this link, "Gotta Have" and for the low cost of $29.95, we'll help you run the flag up the pole!

Overweight? Wrinkles noticeable? Well, you get the idea.

Now for the largest market segment of all. This is where the real money is tied up.

Over fifty-five? Sex, drugs, and rock and roll a distant fast fading memory? Click here "Back to the" and for as little as $29.95, we'll help you remember it all. (Psst; sure you want to?)

So the next time you are required to report the date of your birth, do what the website did. Lie! Make up a date. Drop ten years, add fifteen years, pick a month you wish you were born or a day with your favorite number.

Do it for yourself, do it for a free America and all of humanity.
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